I’m DONE

Well, since I just linked this to my FB page I should probably put something current on here.

I just finished my last treatment at the UofM Cancer Center!!

Now for my next round of chaos, 2 weddings in the next couple of weeks, a bridal shower and a bachelorette party to plan.  Oh, if it’s not one thing it’s another but it’s time for the fun to begin and get past the past year!!!!!

I Missed Me

great title huh?

Lately my mind has been filled with what was going on at this time in my life last year.  I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with cancer but the testing had begun and the anxiety was building.  I just read the first post in my cancer blog to see what I was doing on this day, May 25th a year ago and I didn’t see where I put this date in but I could easily figure it out.  Trust me, I have the sequence of events burned in my brain.  To be honest, I couldn’t read that first post because it stirred up too many emotions of what this last year has been and of how terrified I am that it will come back.  Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again.

What’s not helping is the amount of cancer that seems to be in my life these days.  I’m sure I’m just more sensitive to it but it seems like so many people are getting diagnosed or it’s spreading or something.  It hits me harder when I hear this now but it also makes me pray a little more and thank God that I am still here today.

Ok, this seriously isn’t supposed to be cancer post so I’ll quit now.

What I mean by “I missed me” is this.  This weekend Steve took both kids to his parent’s and I got to stay home! Nothing against my in-laws, I love them dearly, but I don’t think I’ve been home alone since bringing Zach home almost 2 years ago.  I was torn what to do, but I know me, I can’t sit when stuff needs done so stuff got done!  Sad, I know, I’m all excited because I sorted clothes and put stuff away on my day  “off” but it really felt great.  Not only did it feel great to see some progress but that I was ABLE to do it.  My energy seems to be back almost completely and I love it!  I don’t have to sit after 10 minutes, my stamina that I have always had, that I need is BACK and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  Now I just need to find the TIME to do the things I love but that’s a whole ‘nother story.  Man, if only I this much energy when I was on my “vacation”, wow, the stuff I could have accomplished . . .

Finally Found The Top of My Desk

Ahhh yes, it’s been awhile since my last visit.  I’ll be honest, I do my updating at work since we only have dial-up at my house.  And well, honestly, I’ve been swamped here at the office.  However, I do believe that the top of my desk has been found!!!!  But, it may be a while before I have any pictures to post because my camera is broken.  My NEW camera, argh!  I do still have my old one so I guess I’ll have to break that one back out.

Since my last post I have made a life decision and I am going to try to start letting some things go.  I need to realize that I can’t possible do everything so I need to stop trying to.  Work will always be there so I need to start having more fun!  That’s probably why I allowed myself to buy myself an ipod touch this weekend.  Seriously, it was out of my budget but I wanted it and bought it anyway.  Yes! I need to do that more!

For Mother’s Day I received the best gift of all.  For the first time EVER I said “I love you” to Zach and he said it back.  It was clear, perfectly clear and I loved every second of it.

My life is really ho-hum but I’m enjoying ho-hum.  Well, I’m constantly on the run but it’s nothing overly exciting.  I get up, I go to work, I go home, have dinner, get the kids ready for bed and then go to bed myself.  However, I’m ready for a little ho-hum, the last 2 years of my life have had plenty of excitement.

Very Productive Weekend

I’ve had a project that has driving me insane (literally) ever since I moved back home.  People have been more than generous and given me tons of hand-me-downs for the kids to wear.  I love hand-me-downs, don’t get me wrong, but they take a lot of work to get organized.  I had plastic bags of clothes all over my house!  To top it off: a) I just moved back and b) we are changing seasons and sizes.  Sarah is moving to size 18 months and Zach size 24 months.  Finally, this weekend I decided that something had to be done.  So, Saturday I took both kids to the grocery store (oh, that was fun!) and came home started in.  It took me until midnight because of the many interruptions and a couple of hours the next morning but finally everything is organized, in totes and stored in the basement.   There are 3 huge bags that I need to take to goodwill and one big box that I plan to take to Once Upon A Child.  While I was sorting I found about 6 pair of Zach’s shorts from last year that are in perfect condition that will fit him again this year! I was thrilled to find them.  Sarah has so many clothes she can’t wear them all but Zach is about naked for the summer.

Anyway, that is one huge project I can check off my list of things to do.  I managed to get all of that done and have a clean house before my parent’s came for a visit about noon on Sunday.   They brought back my double stroller, a big thing to go in the yard and a bag off ball that I still had at their house.

My next 2 projects:  The cupboard that has so many plastic bowls/lids in it that I can’t find anything and finding the top of the refrigerator.  Maybe this weekend???

The Newest Member of My Family

The Easter Bunny brought more than baskets and eggs this year, he also brought us a new dog, Yukon.

I’ve been waiting to mention him until I had a picture and this is about as good as I could get.  This 8 month old, Alaskan Malamute is harder to get a shot of than trying to get a good picture of both the kids together!

So far I am very happy with this dog, he’s a little hyper but he’s still a puppy.  He is great with the kids and that was my #1 priority.  He doesn’t even offer to get grouchy with them and trust me, they torment this poor dog.  We’re still working on potty training him and I just thank God that we have all hard wood floors in my house.  He is getting better and is pretty much making it all night now.  I love the fact that he’s kennel trained so if we go away for the night he can go in the kennel and we don’t have to take him every where.  He is such a lover and will smother you in kisses.  He hates to be scolded and wants to do nothing but please you.   So far, I would totally recommend an Alaskan Malamute as a family pet.

Spring Is Trying To Spring!

Anytime we get a sunny day that reaches at least 55 degrees in April we head outside!  We especially do it when we have a certain little 2 year old boy that begs to go “outside” at least 55 times per minute.  Seriously!  I’m incredibly impressed with his ability to say “outside” so many times in a row and not get tongue tied.  Well, this past weekend we actually made it into the 60s and I loved being “outside” just as much as he they did.

Zach runs everywhere!  Thank God it still takes about 4 of his steps to equal one of mine because I don’t have to run to catch him – all the time.

Sarah is loving being outside also.  She’s not running but she likes to drive the Cozy Coupe

That is, until Zach tries to steal it from her

That picture cracks me up.  Especially when you think about the fact that I was taking pictures of my kids fighting and not breaking them up.  Bad Mommy!!!

However, Zach can be a great big brother and likes to pull his sister around in the wagon almost as much as he likes to be pulled around himself.

Sunday I kept feeling so guilty because I wasn’t doing anything while they were playing outside.  Ok, I was sitting out there with them and watching them but that doesn’t really count does it.  I had so much stuff I could be doing.  However, I allowed myself just to stretch out in the lawn and let the sun shine on my face.  It was wonderful.  Also, I only got to do that in about 2 minute spurts because the kids are 2 and 1 and rest is not something in my vocabulary.

Easter 2010

We had a very nice Easter this year that even included some very nice weather, which is rare here in Michigan.   We ended up spending Wednesday thru Sunday at my parent’s house because I had to be at the cancer center on Thursday so it just made sense for us to stay.  We kept going back and forth on if we were going to stay or come home and just spend Easter at our house but it just didn’t seem right to me not to spend Easter with the family.  So, we stayed but I didn’t have any of the kids’ cute clothes with me – oh well.  I hadn’t bought any Easter stuff yet because I didn’t trust Steve and I not to eat it if it was bought in advance.  So, I bought everything at mom’s and we had a great time.

They found the plastic eggs the day before and had a great time playing with them.

Then Zach colored the eggs.  Sarah wasn’t at all interest but he was all into it!

I only had a dozen eggs for him but he didn’t care and would move the eggs around from container to container . . . with his hands!

Somehow or other they really didn’t turn out too bad.  A few cracks from literally being dropped in the color, but besides that they turned out alright.

and it’s impossible to get a good picture of both of them together, but here they are playing with a new toy Easter morning.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter!

Back At It

I’m back home, back to work and back to having no time!  I keep trying to get on here but when I finally get the kids down for the night I’m not far behind them.  Getting on at work has been a little bit harder since I went back right at one of our busiest times besides the fact that I have how many months worth of stuff to figure out again???  Anyway, I’m sitting here at the hospital for my every 3 week visit and wanted to catch up with you all.

Life is not bad.  I’m having a very hard time getting used to not having any time and not getting to see the kids but a couple of hours a day.  Besides that, I’m settling back in.  My house is a massive disorganized mess and it seems like I still have so much to unpack and get back in place.  We did make sure to get this box unpacked right away.

I’ve given up on ever having a clean house again but hopefully it will happen before they graduate from high school and I’m having open houses there.

Work is going great and I really don’t even feel like I ever left.  Some things I’m still out of the loop on but it’s coming back to me.  I absolutely love the people I work with and love my job so that is making this transaction a million times easier.  Soon I’ll feel caught up there and I’ll spend my lunch hours catching up with you all and not just catching up at work.

Since I last talked to you we’ve had a few more changes around my house.  I am a whole year older and that was something to celebrate (by going to a baby shower) and we are 2 pets less at my place (not something to celebrate).  We are 2 pets less because the dog bit Zach in the face.  Well, needless to say we can’t keep a pet in the house that puts 5 stitches in his face.  We were also having problems with the cat, Clifford, he was being mean to the kids so since we were having one put to sleep, we had them both.  That was not a happy day in our house.  We’re jus thankful that it wasn’t anyworse and the scars will fade.

The battery is about dead on my computer but I will leave  you with one last picture of my wonderful kids that people seem to think are twins anymore.  Give them a bowl of strawberries and they think they have a bowl of candy.

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Well, everything is packed in the van and ready for us to make our move back home tomorrow.  It’s really weird to be going back but I’m sure it won’t be long and it will just feel like any other day again.  I was back for a couple of days last week just trying to get everything put away before I move the van load I’m taking back up with me up and have to put it all away.  It was strange being there.  Well, I’ve only spent one night since October in my own house!  It was like going into an abandoned house only everything in it was mine.  That’s the only way I can think of to describe it.  Everything was dusty, there were cobwebs, stuff was just laying around, it was weird.  It was also very weird to find an article of one of the kids’ clothes and it looked so little.  That’s where I “stopped” and this is where we are now.

It’s also going to be very strange to the kids.  To them , this is home, they don’t remember that house.  It might feel familiar to Zach but I really doubt if Sarah will remember it at all.  She was only 4 months old when I first diagnosed and she is now 13 months old.  The entire box of toys they have will feel like all new toys to them again!

I am going to try and “take advantage” of the move.  Since this will be a “new” place to them I’m going to try and put Zach in a “big boy bed” and not put up another crib.  I figure he’s going to have to adjust to a new room so we may as well put him in a new bed at the same time.  Sarah will start sleeping in Zach’s crib now, she was still in a bassinet when we moved out.  Also, I’ve been in the same room as them for months now, so now I’m going to be in my room and they will be in a room by themselves.  I really expect the first few nights to be tough but they should be over it by the time I go back to work and we have to start that whole process.

The next couple of weeks are going to be extremely tough but once we get back in the swing of things it should be alright.  Right?

Florida!

For months I had a trip planned to join some of my very good friends in Jacksonville, FL and watch two of them run in the Breast Cancer Marathon.  Then, about 2 months ago my radiation oncologist told me not to plan it because of the timing and we didn’t know how I would feel at the end.  I took her advise and called everything off but my 3 friends were still going.  Well, a week ago I decided that I was feeling well enough and I was going.  Friday was my last radiation treatment then I hopped on a plane and landed in JAX around 2:30 that afternoon.

What an amazing weekend!  The entire weekend was centered around the marathon so we didn’t do anything huge like go to a show or a concert (although Jimmy Buffet was in town) or anything like that.  We were 4 friends that hadn’t seen each other in 8 years hanging out and supporting a wonderful cause.  It was exactly what I needed.

The weekend was entirely perfect.  There was so much positive energy that I can’t even describe it.  Well, I’ll tell you a brief story.  My friends that ran the marathon had these signs on their backs

We had to take a shuttle from the finish line to our hotel. As we were getting off the bus the passengers could read their backs and some one said “Is that Vicky Taylor With You?” Obviously, I’m still bald so I kind of stand out as a cancer patient. So they or I or someone said yes and the entire bus started applauding for me. Wow, I just teared up typing that.  That’s how the entire weekend was.  Simply amazing!

I can not thank my friends enough for . . . everything.  I also can’t thank my family enough for watching the kids so I could get away and soak up some Vitamin D.

Krista, Susan and Cindy :yourock: