Posts Tagged ‘Breast Cancer’

I Missed Me

great title huh?

Lately my mind has been filled with what was going on at this time in my life last year.  I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with cancer but the testing had begun and the anxiety was building.  I just read the first post in my cancer blog to see what I was doing on this day, May 25th a year ago and I didn’t see where I put this date in but I could easily figure it out.  Trust me, I have the sequence of events burned in my brain.  To be honest, I couldn’t read that first post because it stirred up too many emotions of what this last year has been and of how terrified I am that it will come back.  Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again.

What’s not helping is the amount of cancer that seems to be in my life these days.  I’m sure I’m just more sensitive to it but it seems like so many people are getting diagnosed or it’s spreading or something.  It hits me harder when I hear this now but it also makes me pray a little more and thank God that I am still here today.

Ok, this seriously isn’t supposed to be cancer post so I’ll quit now.

What I mean by “I missed me” is this.  This weekend Steve took both kids to his parent’s and I got to stay home! Nothing against my in-laws, I love them dearly, but I don’t think I’ve been home alone since bringing Zach home almost 2 years ago.  I was torn what to do, but I know me, I can’t sit when stuff needs done so stuff got done!  Sad, I know, I’m all excited because I sorted clothes and put stuff away on my day  “off” but it really felt great.  Not only did it feel great to see some progress but that I was ABLE to do it.  My energy seems to be back almost completely and I love it!  I don’t have to sit after 10 minutes, my stamina that I have always had, that I need is BACK and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  Now I just need to find the TIME to do the things I love but that’s a whole ‘nother story.  Man, if only I this much energy when I was on my “vacation”, wow, the stuff I could have accomplished . . .


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