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Archive for May, 2010

I Missed Me

great title huh?

Lately my mind has been filled with what was going on at this time in my life last year.  I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with cancer but the testing had begun and the anxiety was building.  I just read the first post in my cancer blog to see what I was doing on this day, May 25th a year ago and I didn’t see where I put this date in but I could easily figure it out.  Trust me, I have the sequence of events burned in my brain.  To be honest, I couldn’t read that first post because it stirred up too many emotions of what this last year has been and of how terrified I am that it will come back.  Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again.

What’s not helping is the amount of cancer that seems to be in my life these days.  I’m sure I’m just more sensitive to it but it seems like so many people are getting diagnosed or it’s spreading or something.  It hits me harder when I hear this now but it also makes me pray a little more and thank God that I am still here today.

Ok, this seriously isn’t supposed to be cancer post so I’ll quit now.

What I mean by “I missed me” is this.  This weekend Steve took both kids to his parent’s and I got to stay home! Nothing against my in-laws, I love them dearly, but I don’t think I’ve been home alone since bringing Zach home almost 2 years ago.  I was torn what to do, but I know me, I can’t sit when stuff needs done so stuff got done!  Sad, I know, I’m all excited because I sorted clothes and put stuff away on my day  “off” but it really felt great.  Not only did it feel great to see some progress but that I was ABLE to do it.  My energy seems to be back almost completely and I love it!  I don’t have to sit after 10 minutes, my stamina that I have always had, that I need is BACK and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  Now I just need to find the TIME to do the things I love but that’s a whole ‘nother story.  Man, if only I this much energy when I was on my “vacation”, wow, the stuff I could have accomplished . . .

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Finally Found The Top of My Desk

Ahhh yes, it’s been awhile since my last visit.  I’ll be honest, I do my updating at work since we only have dial-up at my house.  And well, honestly, I’ve been swamped here at the office.  However, I do believe that the top of my desk has been found!!!!  But, it may be a while before I have any pictures to post because my camera is broken.  My NEW camera, argh!  I do still have my old one so I guess I’ll have to break that one back out.

Since my last post I have made a life decision and I am going to try to start letting some things go.  I need to realize that I can’t possible do everything so I need to stop trying to.  Work will always be there so I need to start having more fun!  That’s probably why I allowed myself to buy myself an ipod touch this weekend.  Seriously, it was out of my budget but I wanted it and bought it anyway.  Yes! I need to do that more!

For Mother’s Day I received the best gift of all.  For the first time EVER I said “I love you” to Zach and he said it back.  It was clear, perfectly clear and I loved every second of it.

My life is really ho-hum but I’m enjoying ho-hum.  Well, I’m constantly on the run but it’s nothing overly exciting.  I get up, I go to work, I go home, have dinner, get the kids ready for bed and then go to bed myself.  However, I’m ready for a little ho-hum, the last 2 years of my life have had plenty of excitement.

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